MY CRAZY WIFE... AGAIN by yours truly

My wife.
So vital... so insane.
A feral creature from the mire of human legend.
She lurched above me.
Pounding me into the bed.
I felt a beam break.
There goes another paycheck.
She howled fuck the Red Sox!
I wondered what the Red Sox had done to her.
Fuck the White Sox!
That I could understand.
Bleaching whites weren't exactly her strongest suit.
She collapsed over me.
Buried my face in her lovely quivering globes.
And proceeded to choke me half to death.
Good time for the bed to split apart.
Like the San Andreas fault.
Sweet, sweet air!
There's such a thing as too much love.
Almost worth that nail in the ass.
Still gasping for oxygen, I looked up.
Big mistake.
Not again.
I knew I shouldn't have installed that chandelier.
For the third time.
You would have thought I'd have learned something.
Me Jane, you Tarzan!
A shadow descended upon me.
Oh crap.
My wife.