SONGS OF THE MORBID by yours truly

take a dump
its almost as good as going for a hump
it s not as godly as a fart
but in itself it is a form of art
say good bye to your bowels
and go easy on the butt rubbing towels

eat beans, show your appreciation for the gastronomical chorus
beans are a delight to eat and expel
eat beans, and piss your sister off her horse
beans are how you make your butt yell

what makes a burp holy, you may ask
its quite the exciting task
forcing hot air up your esophagus
nothing like a thaumaturgus
to make your day
after a stint at the buffet

on cold days it s a major dwarf,
but get it going, it ll morph
into something gosh darn tall,
(or at least it thinks so)
always up for a good ball
(though its known to blow)
get it too eager
its mind becomes meager
and its single eye is bound to tear
and shrink without a care

it can be as yellow as the sun
or have the color of none
some hours it s an ocean pouring out
other hours it s a drought
nevertheless its always good
because you know you should
your kidney will thank you
besides, its faster than a poo